This is the first time I’ve posted in three months. And to be completely honest, I was hesitating even posting this. It’s been a long summer for me, and I haven’t had the urge to write like I normally do. It just felt like hit after hit after hit. I felt like nobody wanted to hear from me.
But then, I realized that this blog is called “Confessions of A Twenty Something.” And the point is to share the struggle. Not to project perfection like I have it all together. So today is a baby step.
On August 12th, my grandfather passed away. This is the first time I’m writing about it. My heart broke when I found out. The only man that has ever consistently been in my life. My buddy. My inner circle. I felt like my soul was crushed. It’s been so hard these last 30 days or so. I’ve definitely been in a funk.
I almost gave up. With the way things have been going this entire year, I felt lost, doubtful, hopeless, helpless, invisible. I almost gave up. I don’t usually admit that, but this space is as good as any.
Every day is a fight to stay above ground. Every day is a choice to say yes to the light and the positive things and not let the darkness drag me down. Every day is a gift that reminds me that in spite of the loss I’m still here. God still has a plan for me. He’s still working for my good. Beyond the pain of this season.
I don’t know who will read this. I don’t know who it will encourage. I don’t have it all together. I’m really just taking it one day at a time. What I’m learning though, is that I can’t do everything at once. And the expectation that I can, is ludicrous. So for now, I’m gonna take these baby steps. Soon I’ll be walking again, and eventually I’ll get to where i’m supposed to be in one piece. Until that time, keep me in your prayers. And wherever you find yourself today, just know that baby steps count as progress too.